First Grade Christmas Blues

Is this not the most perfect punctuation mark for this miserable moment of school failure?

“School District Apologizes After Teacher Tells First Graders Santa Isn’t Real”


But they’re not really sorry.

Nope … because Santa was in the way of that “grit ‘n rigor” stuff.  So they called in Miss Grinch … the Christmas Crud. She did the dirty …  she offed Saint Nick.


Told all the six-year-olds that Santa was a merry ol’ fraud. That his time was up. To get over him … and to get back to work like good little Cratchits.

But Miss Grinch was only gettin’ started.

She let loose on the elves and reindeers, too … said they weren’t real either. Same for the Tooth Fairy … and the Easter Bunny.  She even outed the leprechauns.

Now all of the first graders have to have their noggins pyscho-straightened because a 22 year old substitute turned childhood inside out … and called Santa a has-been.

Nothin’ surprises me anymore. Not when it comes to schools … and teachers.  I’ve seen it all  … and heard it all.

But these parents  … they were beside themselves. They got all over Superintendent Scrooge … and now Montville, New Jersey, has been renamed Grinchville. That’s where you send your Christmas hate-mail.

You can’t put a hit out on Santa and just expect everyone to bite their lip.


So this substitute’s unforgettable seven and a half hour career is over.

And she’s headed back to her ol’ barista job … where she’ll cheer everyone up …



by telling ’em that coffee isn’t real … and Starbucks is really a massage parlor … and that she has a degree in Gender Studies.

Denis Ian



How’s this for more madness?

Bringing “inclusive grading” to schools … which means “trusting students to assess themselves.”

I kid you not. Now they’re gonna grade themselves. No, Really! Click here


*Addendum2: a reader sent this in response. You’re not gonna believe it – “Calm-Kits”

Thank Lissa Graham for this bit of shock.

Just when you thought things could not possibly get more stoopid … here comes “Calm Kits” for third graders.

Folks … they are warping the hell out of your kids!

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